My name is Alex Altair. Nice to meet you.

I'm not all that good at introductions, I guess. But that's okay. I'm what you'd call a conspiracy theorist. That means I investigate unusual occurrences.

The following is a story of the unusual events that took place shortly after I moved to this neighborhood, urged on by rumors that aliens had been frequenting the populace.

This is my place. It's not much... little more than a trailer, really. But I like the dining room - it's nice and open.

The living room isn't much, either. I started out with just the basics any bachelor Sim needs.

Television. The opiate of the masses. Not to mention the History Channel has some killer presentations on aliens from time to time.

My 'bedroom' section. It wasn't much then - just a single bed, a stack of tires I kept my clothes on, a few pennants from my brief stint in college, and a heater for those cold mornings. The picture on the wall was a gift from my roommate, Kelvin. He claimed it would help me if I had any anger management issues to resolve. Honestly, I threw it out as soon as he stopped visiting.

I'm not really a big TV nut, though, unless I have company or I know there's something worth watching on. I prefer a nice book.

Oh, behind me is some stuff I brought with me from my college days -- a couple of cheap folding tables and chairs, my mini-fridge, and my microwave. And Astro, my old computer.

The Internet allows me to chase after alien rumors all over the world, and gives me something to do with my time. Okay, maybe I'm an Internet junkie.

I chat online with other alien hunters to share notes and document experiences.

Yeah, I know, TV dinners aren't particularly healthy, but it's not easy to make a balanced diet with what I've got. Not to mention, my cooking skills are abysmal.

Still, I think I did well in putting things together. I've got a nice dining area with a great view of the street, and no trees or streetlights around to obstruct my view of the heavens.

I've got a FarStar e3 - top of the line for star-charting. It's also useful for watching for aliens... and in fact, one night I spotted one.

I don't remember too much about the experience, honestly... I remember green skin, and unusual machines, and I vaguely remember being sucked into this great flying machine, and some time later being thrown out again... and damnit if my butt isn't sore.

Subject Altair-001 pollination initiated. Commencing with observation.

The next day as I headed off to work at the laboratory, I couldn't help but wonder if I'd been dreaming last night. That, and whether Lorne was planning on washing his car anytime soon. I have my own, but lately I've been joining the company car pool to save on gas.

But over the course of the day, I began to feel weird... in fact, my stomach was doing some unusual things...

Bulging and swelling, and feeling like something was ALIVE in there.

Altair-001 pollination confirmed successful. Subject seems confused, but generally calm at this stage.

I couldn't help but feel like something was deeply wrong, and started to look up my symptoms in a medical journal. Unusual swelling, increased hunger and fatigue... well, I hadn't eaten any unusually odiferous foods lately...

Hmmm... interesting. It says here that these are common symptoms of conception. But... uh, hello? Guy here?

Unless...

The next morning, my stomach swelled up even more. I had to come to terms with the fact that, well, I was carrying.

Besides, it was sort of amusing, watching my stomach jiggle.

So. Pregnant. Somehow. ... uh, how's that thing supposed to get out?

... I really wish I hadn't thought about that.

Stage 2 pollination confirmed. Subject is beginning to enter mild panic phases, but has not attempted to alert authorities or media sources, as was projected by our initial analysis.

You know what I'd really like right now? An extra-large pizza. With onions and mushrooms.

And maybe pepperoni. And sausage.

And ham. Or maybe ham and pineapple. You can't go wrong with ham and pineapple.

Or... what? I'm hungry! I'm hungry and I feel vaguely like Orson Welles!

I tried to tell the neighbors about my unusual encounter, but most of them didn't believe me. Incidentally, what sort of guy wears a jacket that red around, anyhow?

Okay, so some of the neighbors believe me... but why do they have to be the weird ones?

And why do I feel tired all the time, anyhow? Damn weird alien... baby... something.

I can't stop thinking about aliens. They're in my dreams. ... and why are they all guys?

... and why do they keep telling me to save the planet, anyhow? I hate recycling! It takes so much time.

Ever have a stomach cramp that wouldn't go away?

And then it decides to just crawl directly out your rear end?

... okay, so it didn't feel all bad, but... hey, stop judging me.

So... um, yeah. Definitely one of the weirdest experiences I've had since college.

Okay, already -- this really isn't funny... how IS the damn thing supposed to come out?

Well?! Anyone have an idea?!

... oh. Well, that was... surprisingly simple. Hey, look, I hatched an alien baby! And it's a girl! I think I'm going to call her Betty...