Hi again -- it's me, Alex Altair. I'll be with you in a moment, I'm reading a bedtime story to Betty.
Okay, Betty... "Once upon a time, there was a colossal teddy bear, named Mr. Bearington."
"Mr. Bearington was a master xylophone player, and gave concerts at all the great... xylophone cathedrals." Okay, this is the last time I buy a novel written by 'Amin Sims'. That's got to be a pseudonym for an embarrassed author.
"But at night, Mr. Bearington was a secret agent, who drove around in a fancy race car with which to catch evil supervillians."
"Ordinary criminals would risk wetting themselves just hearing the name of this fearsome bear..." I really hope she grows out of enjoying these stories soon. I think my logic capabilities just went off to die.
"One day, he was called to the rocket launch site for a very special assignment. Servos had taken over the Moon!"
Right. Even Betty's starting to look bored. Time for bed, kiddo.
Anyhow, I've been investigating paranormal phenomena in my vicinity, most particularly my recent abductions. Betty, of course, is my strongest evidence so far that strange things do exist in the world - but I am determined to learn as much as I can about them, and to document them here for further research purposes.
Betty might be important evidence of the existence of aliens - but she's also a very adorable little girl. She has my eyes and everything.
So many unusual things have been happening to me lately -- I don't know where to begin in documenting them.
Oh. Right. Remember I mentioned a second abduction? Apparently the aliens thought that if one was good, two was better, because sure enough, I'm getting similar symptoms... except that the nausea is worse this time around. It's murder on the carpets and porcelain.
And my recent experiences have been disrupting my sleep habits, as well -- having a toddler that may wake you up at any hour is definitely tough. And me being a single father and all... It's hard to keep the money trees watered and catch up with my fellow paranormalists.
And I can't shake the eerie feeling that I'm always being watched by something... well, besides by my own recording equipment.
Unfortunately, with the growing clutter, I'm starting to run short on space - particularly counter space.
I got this cheap counter installed this morning so I could make breakfast - but it really doesn't fit well with the decor. I feel like I should be wearing a bath towel or something.
I could probably buy something better, but... eh, this will do for now. At least until I've had breakfast and gone back to work.
Good morning, Betty -- play nice with Mr. Bun Bun. Some rabbits don't like it when you bash their heads into the carpet.
And today's the day I go back to work... somehow it doesn't seem quite so bad to be testing out new scientific theories, after all of this.
However, at this point my stomach reminded me of a very important fact -- that there was now an inhabitant settling in down there, and as such, I was most certainly not going anywhere. Even my workplace concurred - funny, I haven't had one of them come by to verify the whole alien pregnancy thing yet. I wonder if they're responsible for this somehow... nahhh.
But work or no work, the nanny I had hired was here anyhow, to perform her ... nannily... duties.
Miss Kendal Lawson, to be precise - the agency recommended her highly.
Our first meeting, however, didn't go too well... as she promptly picked up my newspaper and sat down in my front room to read.
Noticing that I was home, she folded up the newspaper so we could talk shop.
I explained to her that my young toddler was different, and that I was staying home because of a work requirement - and she seemed to be fine with it, so off I went to rest and relax while she went about the business of keeping an eye on Betty.
She didn't seem too fond of cleaning up the potty - but who is?
But for some reason she didn't look too fond of me, either.
This is just a casual shot -- Kendal handling potty materials, me enjoying a nice salad for lunch, and Betty playing with her favorite toy (she seems to really like the rabbit. I don't know why.)
It seemed like Kendal and Betty were getting along well...
But as the day went on, Kendal seemed less than pleased with the fact that Betty was... different.
She grumbled constantly as she tended to Betty, and eyed me as though I were some sort of freak!
When she put Betty down for the afternoon, I could swear I heard her grumbling about 'green-skinned little freaks'...
And complaining - loudly - about 'inhuman wastes'.
Meanwhile, I was relaxing and enjoying my time off... and getting acquainted with a neighbor, Florence Delarosa.
She and I had a nice talk about rocketry, and the wonders of space...
... and she didn't even seem to mind my 'condition'. All in all, I was happy to make a new acquaintance.
Inside, however, Kendal was growing increasingly hostile.
Betty doesn't seem to be enjoying her attention too much either.
I'm really starting to regret this -- she seems nice enough, but when I'm not around...
I settled in to take a late afternoon nap...
And she stalked off!
With a toddler still roaming around the house!
Unaware, I continued to rest... until I was eventually awakened by Betty.
I sent her to go get something, and looked out the window -- it was night, and Kendal was long gone.
I couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't at least woken me up before leaving...
I was still tired -- but I got up for a while, to make sure Betty was alright before putting her in her crib.
Who knew this was going to be so difficult?
The next morning, I felt well-rested and ready to face the day. My nausea had cleared up, though my stomach was definitely showing.
I decided to give Florence a call and talk with her -- I definitely needed someone to talk to.
Betty didn't seem too fond of my chattering, and once I put her down on the floor, went straight over to her blanket and went back to sleep.
"Some days, I wish I could be free as a bird... no job, no troubles, no worries..."
While I was swapping recipes, miss Lawson came by again. She seemed polite enough, and I was busy on the phone, so I just nodded to her.
Again, she went straight to sitting in the front room, reading my paper.
I finally broached the subject of aliens with Florence... and she didn't seem to find it all that strange. I was delighted!
As I suggested that perhaps we should see a movie sometime, the door behind me opened, and I could feel someone glaring...
"I knew there was something wrong with that kid of yours! An alien! I was wondering what was wrong with that child!"
"Now just a minute -- what are you saying?" I was starting to get annoyed - and she wasn't about to stop there.
"I'm saying that child is a freak! It's green, for goodness sakes! Back in my day, the only greens in our house were the vegetables on the dinner table!"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing! And what I was hearing was starting to make me very, very angry...
She stalked off to the front room, and I followed...
"Now you listen here, you arrogant, obnoxious old crone -- you're fired! You're incompetent, you're barely helpful, and I will not tolerate racism in front of my daughter! Now get out!"
She left, and I was left to catch my breath and wonder what had brought that on.
"So what are you going to do?" Florence asked, when I called her up to talk about it. "You're going to have to go back to work soon, and they're the only caretaking service in town right now."
"Don't worry," I told her. "I'll think of something." All it took was a bit of online searching, and I had just what I needed.
If I couldn't hire the right person to help care for Betty... I'd just have to build them.