Julius: We're the Last. You know, the last line of defense against evil...
--1.1 (Sweeps Week)

Hannah: Eight foot tall vampire?
Danielle: I think he ate his Wheaties. And then he ate the guy on the box.
--1.4 (When Giants Clash)

Bambi's Guide to Slayer Rules:
(ie: What Bambi has learned from Slaying so far)

1. When you have a magic rune of evil, making a copy is a bad idea.

2. Don't read Latin in front of books.

3. Don't call on the dead Slayer spirits.

4. Don't poke chained werewolves.

5. Never have sex on the school grounds, especially in the basement.

6. Wishes = Bad.

7. Evil guys cheat at hangman.

8. Apocalypses are bad. Very bad. They're also hell on your home furnishings


Spike: Well, uproot my fangs and call me sucky.
--1.5 (Hellbent)

Spike's 12 Step Vampire Rehab Program

1. If you want to live here, don't bite the good guys. If you don't want to live here, meet my friend, the stake.

2. If you piss the Slayer off, they're going to beat the crap out of you. If you piss me off, I'll kill you and claim you were trying to bite someone.

3. Friends don't torture friends physically - verbal abuse is less messy and more lasting anyhow.

4. Don't kill things in front of people unless you like dealing with meddling kids. Today's dead demon could make tomorrow's guy with stake and hammer.

5. Sex and death don't mix - except on couches, where if you have sex, we will kill you.

6.You are not a creature of angst. Born killer, yeah, but start writing sob poetry and you become ash.

7. Unless you can be useful, you're pretty much bait or dead. Be useful.

8.The Slayer doesn't necessarily kill Vampires - she kills people that suck. Take note.

9. Don't try opening the Hellmouth. Ever. You've been warned, and we'll kill you if you do it anyhow. You fucker.

10. If there is no world, there is no food. Don't try ending the world either, or we'll kill you. You fucker.

11. Too much power can kill you. Get all cocky, and someone - likely me - will teach you that.

12. Stupidity kills. Targeting the Slayer and her friends is stupid. Unless you want to be injected with holy water and set on fire, you won't do stupid things. Ever.

Tamara: We've got to go find Maria - she was picked up by the Vermuscas!
Spike: (sleepily) This is why you shouldn't hang out in bars.
Bambi: And here I thought Clem was going to get a girlfriend.
Spike:  I don't think Clem is into giant bugs.
--1.7 (All A-Buzz)

 Bambi: Poor Maria... she survived cultism only to be killed by a giant bug.
Spike: Further proof that someday cockroaches will rule the world.
--1.7 (All A-Buzz)



Tamara: Why can't evil ever have nice stuff so we can get compensated for killing it?
Cory: Because crime doesn't pay.
--1.9 (The Chosen Two)


Danielle: Why does he have to live up so many stairs?
Tamra: Because he's -evil-.
--1.9 (The Chosen Two)



Marcus: Yes, 'Weird Man Wherton'- he had all these little hopes about how he was going to change the world with his ideas.
Danielle: ...and then you kicked him out and he went slowly insane and now he's trying to destroy the world. (beat) Thanks a lot.
Tamara: (reflective) You think they'd have learned after the colonies that kicking people out and making them feel all unloved is a bad idea.
--1.10 (Blue Crew Riot)
Anya: How much longer is it going to take?
Xander: Just a couple more minutes- I've just got to think... no! Don't go back to sleep!
--1.10 (Overheard in phone conversation during Blue Crew Riot)



Marcus: He just had sock issues.
Hannah: So... if we see someone with mismatched socks...we have to be very careful they don't turn evil and insane.
(Everyone starts checking their socks)
Siam: I am safe.
Hannah: Cory and I are fine.
Danielle: (panic) One of my socks is shorter than the other!
(Everyone eyes Danielle and starts backing away)
--1.10 (Talking about "Weird Man Wherton" in Blue Crew Riot)
Dave: You want me to stay here with you crazy people?
Siam: You are casting spells with a ruler. This is not the time to be judgmental.
--1.10 (Blue Crew Riot)


Marcus: Can't you Americans do anything right? (Eyes the destroyed living room)
Xavier: Look, I don't know where in the British Isles you come from, but if you say something that stupid again, I'm going to shoot you and claim you were trying to rape one of the schoolgirls.
Marcus: I beg your pardon?!
(Xavier aims the pistol)
Marcus: ...so, what caused this then?
--1.10 (Blue Crew Riot)


Tamara: Well, why don't we just live in a cave underground?
Danielle: We're not Hobbits. We don't have hairy feet and shoe issues.
--1.10 (Blue Crew Riot)



Bambi: You could dye your hair and wear a goatee... you'd look--
Kevin: Gay?
Bambi: No, different.
Spike: French.
Bambi: Right! You could just pretend to have a French accent and...
Spike: No, I think I'd rather walk up to him and say, "Please stab me in the heart."
Tamra: Death is preferable to being French.
--1.10 (Blue Crew Riot)


Tamara: (to Marcus) You've written your evaluation, but you're not one of us. You're an outsider.
Spike: (quiet singsong) Neener neener neener....
--1.10 (Blue Crew Riot)

 

Marcus:  I want you to understand the point of the Handbook.
Bambi: (unimpressed) Is the point that it's boring?
Marcus: No... if I wanted you to understand that, I'd tell you to read War and Peace and tell me how many times the main character masturbated.
Kevin: There's masturbation in War and Peace?! (heads for the library)
--1.11 (Worse Than Death)
Hank: (yelling at Lucy) I'm talking to my friggin' sister - tellin' her papa is up for Murder One.
Jesus Christ did not die on the friggin' cross so I could listen to this bullshit!
--1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Bambi: (desperate to regain her Slayer powers) Bite me! You're a vampire, come on - bite me!
Spike: I wouldn't touch your blood with someone else's fangs.
Bambi: (hitting up Eric- who has no clue- next) Eric, bite me!
Eric: (insulted) Well, fuck you too!
--1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Kevin:  It's because I eat slippers, isn't it?
Danielle: No, it's because you're a big hairy dog-thing.
--1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Cory: Bambi, if they had Slayer concentraton camps, you'd be on the first bus.
--1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Bambi: I'm broke! I'll have to work at Doublemeat Palace! They'll call me 'Burger Girl'!
Spike: 'Grease Tart' is more appropriate.
--1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Siam: Do you need a soda?
Jonathan: No, I ate before I was kidnapped.
--1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Cory: (to Spike) You realize you have issues...and your issues are collected in volumes... which then fill the libraries in your head.
-- 1.11 (Worse Than Death)


(Marcus gives his date a backrub. )
Spike:  Three hours later, with some alcohol, she'll be taking it in the bushes and singing 'Hail Britain'.
(Marcus and Rosa kiss.)
Spike: Okay, make that without the alcohol.
-- 1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Rosa: (eyeing Marcus suspiciously) Are you a vampire?
Tamara: No, he's a British guy.
-- 1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Spike: (wearing Fred from Scooby Doo costume for Halloween) Yeah, I'm a badass Fred. Sure, I wear a swinger scarf, but that's because I can kick your ass.
-- 1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Bambi: Okay, here's my total plan thing.
Danielle: It doesn't involve ropes and handcuffs, does it? Because I'm not big on bondage.
Bambi: Thanks for helping me, Danielle!
Danielle: No problem - that's what entirely platonic friends are for!
-- 1.11 (Worse Than Death)


Tamara: I hate Brian. I want to kill him!
Spike: Now now, you should treat him in a Christian manner. (beat) Tie him to a stake and burn him.
-- 1.12 (Just One of the Gang)


Warren: We are not a quartet. Steve's only here because he's screwing Andrew. We're a Trio Plus Date.
-- 1.12 (Just One of the Gang)


Spike: So in exchange for intellectual knowledge, we have to let three losers come over and eat our Cheetos.
-- 1.12 (Just One of the Gang)


Warren: (off Andrew's 'interpretive dance') And that would be interpreted as "I am a complete loser. Please avoid me."
--1.12 (Just One of the Gang)

Michael S: (reflective) The gang just hasn't been the same since Fred turned to stripping.
--1.12 (Just One of the Gang)


Tamara: He's always been like this?
Michael S: Yeah. We tried to figure it out once when we were a little bored -- and a little stoned.
--1.12 (Just One of the Gang)


Andrew: ... I think I'll come back later when people who don't make me feel bad about myself are home.
Spike: Good choice.
--1.12 (Just One of the Gang)


Kev: (about Michael's trap design) If this works, you will be my new god.
--1.12 (Just One of the Gang)
 
Brian: There is no heaven or hell for people like us.
Tamara: I am not like you! I have friends that care about me, and I can match my socks.
--  1.12 (Just One of the Gang)
 


Spike: (to Tamara) If anyone in this world were an angel, it'd be you, love.
--1.12 (Just One of the Gang) 


(Tamara shakes the baggie of Dead Brian.)
Danielle: He's not going to answer any faster if you shake him.
Spike: We could sprinkle him in tea.
Tamara: Eww.. yuck, hon! We are not drinking our dead enemies.
--1.12 (Just One of the Gang)


Spike:  Brian, if you're here, make Bambi's clothes respectable.
Bambi: Oh, come on! Nobody can do tha--hey!
-- 1.12 (Just One of the Gang)
 
Spike: Well, Bambi - you're the star of the show. Hopefully you won't horribly disappoint us and end up getting everybody killed.
Who wants to play a game?
Bambi: Oh, the pressure! (Starts to do the Bambi Wail, and gets slapped by Tamara)
Tamara: I'm sorry I slapped you, Bambi--
Spike: I'm not.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)
 


Andrew: In ancient Greece, there was an island in Greece full of lesbians. They called it the Isle of Lesbos. (Gives a dreamy sigh)
Spike: You've masturbated to thoughts of that, haven't you?
Andrew: Well, I've wondered if there was a male version...
Spike: The 'Isle of Dong'? Like Easter Island, but with different monuments?
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)



Andrew: Ooh, they have American cartoons! Look, it's the Road Runner. I wonder if he beeps with an English accent here?
Spike: ... how do you beep with a British accent? "I say, old shitknocker, beep beep and all that rot! Ho ho!"
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Tamara: How would you say 'assface' in British? Arse-head?
Spike: Arse-face. To wit: Arse-faced buggercock shitmaestro.
Andrew: (Stares in Awe) You know... I think that's the coolest curse I've ever heard!
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Spike: Yeah, pull over so he can get out and piss. Then we can get going again...
Andrew: After I get back in the car, right?
Spike: Whatever.
Andrew: ... I can hold it till we get there.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)



Spike: Bloody stupid country cabins, all full of comfort and sunshine. Didn't do his woman a bit of good, did it?
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: I've got to wean myself off of evil slowly.
Spike: I'll help! (Starts whacking Andrew with a newspaper- Whack! Whack! Whack!)
Hannah: Spike, stop that.
Spike: Why, do you want a turn? (Offers paper)
Hannah:... Naughty..(thwap! thwap! thwap!) Naughty! This is kind of fun....
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: And we could go around the castle with coconuts, and I can tape it...
Spike: (disgusted) Christ.
Tamara: When Spike turns to Jesus, you know it's a bad idea.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)



Andrew: Or you could get Warren to fix it...
(Realizes he's supposed to be good, and starts thwacking himself)Ow! Ow!
Spike:  Let me help. (Starts smacking Andrew liberally)
Andrew: Hey! I'm chastising myself, thank you.
Spike: You should get one of those keychain flogs for that.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Margaret: How are you going to attract it?
Tamara: Well, we know it doesn't like people destroying the forest,
and sexual activity in the forest, so.. maybe we can chop some trees down and....
Cory: Spike and Tamara will have 'hot sex' while we set things on fire.
Tamara: I like this plan!
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Margaret: Is it coming yet?
Spike: (calling) No, but give me a few minutes.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: (trying to help with the trestalker, picking at a tree and calling loudly) I'm defacing nature!
And next, I'm going to take a huge honking crap on the forest!
Cory: ... (mutters) please show up and eat him.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: (blinks,noticing Spike urinating on the flaming corpse of the Treestalker)
Spike: What? Do you have a sodding bucket of water, or are we trying to start a forest fire?
Andrew: We get to pee on our dead enemies? I love hanging out with you guys!
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: I got thirsty, and I drank it all, and now I have to pee.
Spike: I could hold him out the window and let him piss while we drive.
Tamara: I don't think the passersby would appreciate it.
Cory: This is England. This is a no-urinating-out-of-the-car country.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: Hey, I'm still gay- I'm all about the gayness...
Spike: Gay +1
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: (babbles about the Albright Manor, ending in) ... it's like a Charles Dickens novel!
Donald: Sorry, sir, but you'll be getting no Dickens here.
(Muffled giggles from the rest of the group ensue)
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Spike: Being a vampire's not an occupation, it's a lifestyle. Like being Jewish, only without the penis damage.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: And they'll be all like "Oh, Andrew! Your mighty summoning power!"
Spike: God, what a faggot.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew: We could go to EuroDisney!
Spike: (smack) That's in France.
Andrew: (sulky) France is near England!
Spike:  I don't care if its three feet from our backyard, it's still French.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Andrew:(wakes Spike up) I just thought of something cool! Hannah's initals are HA!
Spike:  And your initials are AW. And my initial is S, for SHUT THE FUCK UP!
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)


Tamara: Just take Cory out for a nice dinner, so we can have a little party for Hannah and do girl stuff, like give gifts and giggle...
Spike: (To Andrew) They want Cory to go away so they can talk about his penis.
-- 1.13 (Close Your Eyes and Think of England)

Bambi: I'll go make you some tea.
Kevin: Whoa, Bambi's being helpful.
Danielle: We're going to die.
--1.14 (The Once and Future HST)


Wu: Yes, apparently they have an 'Army of Darkness', but without funny Bruce Campbell.
--1.14 (The Once and Future HST)


Kevin: So I'm a muscian- that doesn't mean I'm bad for your karma.
--1.14 (The Once and Future HST)


Kevin: He does listen when we play our music.
Marcus: Yes, it burrows through my eardrums and into my subconsious,
where one day it will show up as a tumor.
Kevin:  Cool.
--1.14 (The Once and Future HST)


Harmony: Clem is like a deflated Buddha!
--1.14 (The Once and Future HST)


Kevin: So, he was a minon?
Lyle: Yeah, like a fillet minon.
--1.14 (The Once and Future HST)


Xavier: Ahn, what if they're the 'raises the armies of darkness' sort of artifacts?
Anya: Then we sell them one at a time. On Ebay.
--1.14 (The Once and Future HST)


Ming: (studying Tamara) She look very much smarter than Bambi.
Spike: A toaster looks smarter than Bambi.
--1.14 (The Once and Future HST)

Hannah: And this is why we have a privacy fence, boys and girls.
Kevin: To catch bolts?
Bambi: To protect neighbors who don't know enough to shoot back?
Spike: So the neighbors can't see you when you shag on the lawn?
Hannah: You are all sick, sick people. <shakes head>
Spike: Thank you
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Andrew: <dramatically brandishing lightsaber> I sense.. a disturbance...
Julius: <kicks Andrew in the arse> Finish that sentance and I kick the other side.
Andrew: <pouts and mutters> ... in the force.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Kevin: Poor Danielle <reflecting on her having to attend her aunt's funeral>
Spike: I hope this doesn't affect the wedding.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Bambi: Why don't you tell Ming not to dress like a ho?
<pouting about Spike making sure she wears respectable clothes to the wedding>
Spike: She's Chinese. There's a fair chance her last name is Ho.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Spike:  This better not affect the wedding (many, many times during the episode!)
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Tamara: <trying to reach Watchers>No answer.
Julius: Is it a prank British?
Tamara: Damn those British men!
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Kevin: <laughing> Spike has fuzzy slippers?
Spike: Anything that can tear your head off has the right to wear fuzzy slippers.
Kevin: <nervous> Uh... pretty much, yeah.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Kevin: <on the phone to Danielle> Anyway, creepy British people came to our house last night...
Danielle: Were they there to correct Bambi's English?
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Spike: <reguarding keeping things from coming out of the Hellmouth>
You could set up speakers next to it that play 'Shiny Happy People.'
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Kevin: Maybe he needs some male bonding.
Danielle: He's 11, Kev. What kind of male bonding is he going to do? "My wee-wee is longer than yours?"
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Tamara: I'm sure she doesn't just leave her Wicca stuff lying around.
Spike: Dainelle keeps hers in her purse. Maybe Sera has an Instant Wicca Kit somewhere.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Margaret: Are you English?
Kit: In a manner of speaking. I was born there, if that's what you were asking.
Margaret: So you know the King's Tongue?
Kit: Not personally.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Spike: Why don't we leave the Hellmouth alone? It's been around for a century.
Tamara: But we could make the world a better place.
Spike: We could do that by recycling.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Andrew:  You can never have too many penis-shaped weapons.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Hannah: Margaret, you shouldn't try to face a Miquot on your own.
 They're very dangerous, and have bone knives that regrow...
<Hannah begins to enter 'lecture mode'...>
Margaret:  Could you save the lecture for after it's no longer living?
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Buffybot: Mr. Bothwell is trying to raise the dead through science!
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Andrew: Preparation! <furrows his brow>
Danielle: With that squint, I thought you meant Preparation H.
Andrew: <pout> This is my combat face.
Danielle: Your combat face looks like you have anal lesions.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Andrew: Ooh... Willy's Alibi Room!
Spike: <pauses> If I hear one excited interjection from you,
I'm going to punch you hard enough to cause brain damage.
Andrew: .... does 'oooh' count?
Spike: Yes. 
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Spike:  That isn't our wedding alcohol, is it?
Tamara: If I said no, would it make it better?
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)


Xavier: I'd go on about how impersonating an officer is a crime,
but that'd just seem cheap and crass.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Bambi: There's some bimbo with a big sword in there!
Julius: Oh, joy- Tamara's turned evil.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Kevin: I'm too young for marriage!
Danielle: But not too young for immortal trollops.
--1.15 (Eternal Binds)

Andrew: (Rambles in his special Andrew way)
Detective: Yes, we've already established that you're ignorant. Go on.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Tamara: You know how in England, you have parents...
Margaret: I've been trying to call them for the past few weeks.
Spike: They're probably not answering because they're dead.
Tamara: You see, we have some bad news...
Spike: No that was about it. No... wait, there was more.
They were also dismembered and dragged all over the street.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Bambi: <gushes about Marcus's good points>
Vinny: And it helps if he's not a limpdick.
Marcus: I'm not that British.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Timmy: Nothing says 'New Orleans' like whackin' somebody.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Fat Tony: We don't need to hear about a friggin' penis.
If it leaped off of him and killed three people, then it's interesting.
Until then, the only meat I wanna hear about is meatballs.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Bambi: I've got to get my beauty sleep.
Xavier: Your 'beauty sleep' damages the walls.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Bunny: Fashion can only help him to a point. I mean, he is British.
Bambi: I've been totally trying to help him get over that.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Sian: Oddly enough, after being here, I understand Bambi more.
Xavier: I fear for our souls.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Bambi: (counting bead necklaces) One...two... three... four... more...
Xavier: Every day I find new ways in which your cluelessness astounds me.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)



Andrew: Let's tell ghost stories!
Spike: (Deadpan) Once there was a ghost named Brian.
Andrew: (Excited) Oooooh!
Spike: And he haunted Tamara's drink.
Andrew: Heyyyy... I think I've heard this one before.
Tamara: Andrew, you were there!
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Bambi: We should get tattoos. You can have my name
tattooed on your butt, and I can have yours!
Marcus: I'm sorry, but for guys, having "Bambi" tattooed
on your ass has an entirely different meaning.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Xavier: Shhh, Bambi.
Bambi: Right.. the indoor voice.
Marcus: The 'in evil's lair' indoor voice.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Bambi: (to an irate vampire) Like, calm down dude.
It's only a fight to the death.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Tamara: Ahh... Margaret... do you remember when we had that talk about your parents?
Spike: Well, now there's an arrest warrent out for you on their murder.
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Xavier: Well, I'm tempted to just send both of you home. See how you explain that to Daddy.
"Dad, I couldn't keep my mouth off of genitalia long enough to slay vampires,
so the group decided it was easier to send me home than to work with me."
--1.16 (Favored Daughter)

Tamara: But Brian Robbinson is... you know... dead.
Poster Hanger: I hope that's not going to affect the show.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Tamara: You Googled?
Julius: That wasn't the only thing I did.
Tamara: Did you also Ask Jeeves?
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Andrew: We could call our team the Jedi Masters!
Adam: Something not based on a major motion picture would be nice.
Andrew: There go all my backup names. Wait! So we'll call our team the Superfriends!
Adam: Okay, you can call it Team Jedi.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Andrew: And one of these days, I'll be like "Margaret, it's my way or the highway!"
Steve: And what will you do if she slaps you?
Andrew: ... I'll cry.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Andrew: So, you say "Back when I was a vampire..."
Spike: You don't just stop being a vampire, Andrew.
Unless you're Angel and you're neutered.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Bambi: Shakespeare... isn't he like, that old dead guy?
Danielle: One of them.
Bambi: I think we learned about him in English.
Danielle: What did you learn about him?
Bambi: I don't remember. It was boring.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Spike: (sings a disturbing rendition of 'Little Bunny Foo Foo')
Maggie:  And this is the safe vampire?
Michael C: I guess the son is a lot nicer than the mother.
Tamara: We try not to think about that family tree in this household.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Spike: I imagine Swiss people sucking on Bratwurst.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

GM: A reedy-looking scientist is a fair description.
He is balding with spectacles, jeans, a t-shirt, a heavy lab coat, and thick rubber gloves.
Andrew: Agggh! It's the proctologist from hell!
Spike: Oh, yes, Andrew. He and his ass-raping zombies are here to probe us all.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Bambi: (discussing Red Moon Rising)
And Marcus is going to be our manager, so he gets to tell us what to do!
Danielle: <dry murmur> Oh yes, we love the thought
of being bossed around by a semi-effectual British man.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Tamara: (noting Spike licking blood) Don't do that! That could be poisoned hell blood.
Spike: It's not. It's B positive.
Tamara: (disgusted) I'm not even gettting into how gross that is.
Spike: (indignant) What? I'm a vampire! ...and I'm hungry.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Tamara: (re- insane lab man) Poor guy. I wonder what made him that way?
Spike: Well, that's why you don't open portals to the Evil Ones. <to the insane guy, singsong> Stupid!
Tamara: Don't taunt the insane... it's not nice.
Spike: Well, it wasn't nice to carve his research partner up with a scalpel, so I guess we're even.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Barry: ...and I got this message on my laptop, and it said to look behind me,
and I did, and there was this horrible inky black nasty thing
and it looked like the Alien and the Predator had a love child!
Sera: You've never had sex, have you?
Barry: ... no.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)

Spike: Some people are born gay, others have gay men thrust upon them.
--1.17 (You Only Die Twice)





 
 


 Buffy and assorted characters copyright to Mutant Enemy; Btvs RPG materials copyright to Eden Studios. Pictures of characters were made using Heromachine. All other characters, graphics, materials, etc. are copyright of Laura and Aus Cushing of Lab Arc Desgins. Permission is granted to use these Lab Arc created characters, adventures, settings, etc. in your own campaign or world provided that you do not claim them as your own original work and/or make any money off of them. If you do use and enjoy these materials, why not drop us a line and let us know? We'd love to hear about it!